Unbeknown Prayers
by VisualIDentificationZeta
Summary: HarmSinger SUMMARY: in an alternate universe Loren decides against brown-nosing with CDR Lemon-face and changes her future


TITLE: Unbeknown Prayers

AUTHOR: VIDZ

PAIRING: Harm/Loren

TIMELINE: Answered Prayers.

DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show JAG are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

SUMMARY: in an alternate universe Loren decides against brown-nosing with CDR Lemon-face and changes her future

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Pulling away from the curb Harm noticed a slim, lone figure walking down the sidewalk, huddled into herself against the cold.

Slowing down to a crawl he leaned over the passenger seat to roll down the window.

Loren glanced to the left, but kept walking.

"Loren!"

Sighing she realized he wouldn't just disappear if she ignored him. She stopped, turned to her left and regarded him mutely, arms crossed under her breasts.

Harm couldn't help but realize once again just how beautiful she was. The red satin dress she had on had made it impossible for him to stuff away his attraction for her and the blond raised eyebrow worked somehow enticingly.

"Hop in, I'll give you a lift to your car."

He sighed at her look of wariness.

"It's better than walking in this cold and snow... And it's a loooong way back to the Robers' place."

As another shiver wracked her small body she gave in, it really made no sense to freeze to death from sheer stubbornness.

Getting into the car and closing the door she almost moaned at the delicious heat coming from the vents.

Smiling slightly Harm looked to his left and behind before pressing the gas pedal.

They drove in silence for half a minute before Harm got up the courage to make his sudden idea happen.

"I heard your plans fell through. I'm sorry."

Looking at him she prepared to make a sarcastic, cutting remark, but the words died in her throat when she realized he was being sincere. He really _was_ sorry it had turned out that way.

"He's a bastard, there's no excuse for what he did." he continued "But we're not all like that."

When she didn't say anything he shot a glance at her and saw the befuddled look she was giving him at his display of care.

"We have our disagreements, but I've always considered you a valued colleague and friend. I don't like it when you're hurting."

Her eyes burned and she blinked quickly to stem the tide. The frog in her throat was still there, though.

"Yeah, right. You always hated me." she hated how vulnerable and sad her voice sounded, instead of the intended indifference.

Stopping at a red light Harm turned to look at her and covered her small hands with his larger one.

"I _was _upset with you and disappointed occasionally, yes, but I never hated you. Anyway, I know how you feel right now..."

"Yeah, right." she cut him off "The great Harmon Rabb, the man who has his pick of women, knows what it feels like to be hurt in love."

His voice was low, serious "I do know. Believe me, I do."

The dashboard lights reflected off his face and Loren could see the sadness and pain in his eyes as he returns her gaze.

"Believe it or not, but I was never the one to end a relationship, the women I was involved with always broke up with _me_. Or they were killed. I also know what it's like to care about someone who lies to you and sleeps with other people just to hurt you."

Loren couldn't hold his eyes anymore, so she looked away. The light turned green and Harm pressed the gas pedal.

"You feel hurt and betrayed, like you heart has been torn out of your chest, spit on and trampled into dust. You have the right to feel that way, no-one has the right to hurt the supposedly most important person in their life."

"But today was not all bad... you made me proud to call you my friend."

Her head whipped towards him and her electric blue eyes widened.

"You admitted you made a mistake and you apologized. More than that, you meant it. It takes a lot of strength, it takes a good person, to do that."

Trying to save her Ice Queen rep Loren quickly tried to intervene "Just because I apologized didn't mean I meant it. If I hadn't, I would've looked ridiculous."

Harm smiled knowingly at her, clearly not buying it "You, Lieutenant Loren Singer of the Navy, are a good person under that bitter exterior, no matter how hard you try to hide it. It's the 'why' I'm still having trouble figuring out."

She sighed in defeat "It's harder to get hurt if you let everyone think you're a bitch because they won't want to be near you enough to get close."

"But it doesn't work all the time, does it?" Harm asked knowingly.

Loren shook her head sadly.

Seeing it was time Harm got to the point of all this "On Friday, the day after we settle everything with Helfman, I'm starting my two weeks off until after New Year's. I'll be spending them with my Grandmother on the Rabb family farm in Bealsville, VA."

Loren was wearing a deeply confused expression when he shot her a look. It was obvious she didn't know why he was telling her all this. Might as well tell her.

"I'd like you to go with me."

Loren wore the shocked look well and when she recovered she launched into protests.

"Commander, I can't..."

She couldn't believe he'd actually asked her that. What about the regs? What about MacKenzie? It's too soon after Kevin...

"The farm is large enough to have as much peace and space as you want and not to be bothered by anyone. The house has plenty of free rooms so you won't be thrust directly into mine or Gradma's space if you want solitude and a back door if you really want to be alone for days. What I'm offering you is a place to relax and leave everything behind, figure out where to go from here. There are a couple of pretty good spots to do some thinking and healing. The farm is where I went as soon as I was released from the hospital after my ramp strike."

His face darkened at the memories of those horrible months when the doctors had already decided he would never walk again "I healed there, physically, mentally and emotionally and found a purpose in life when I thought that without flying my life was meaningless. It's where I decided to go for Law School. It's a good place, that farm."

She tried to say something, but he waved her off "This offer comes with no obligation, you don't have to answer right now. I'll be leaving on Friday morning, so think it through and let me know how you decide by then."

As if he'd timed it they arrived in front of the Roberts' home and Harm stopped the 'Vette next to Loren's car.

Without a word Loren reached her hand to the door-handle when Harm called to her "If you need someone to talk to, don't even hesitate. This is what friends are for."

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THURSDAY

IN FRONT OF COURT ROOM 3

"Commander!" Loren shouted, running after Harm who was walking down the corridor towards the elevator bank, mind already on his vacation.

He stopped and turned around.

Coming to a halt in front of him Loren warred another fight of indecision inside her before biting her lip and asking "Is that offer still good?"

Harm smiled.

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1637 LOCAL TIME

RABB FAMILY FARM

BEALSVILLE, VA

Harm shut off the engine and got out, stretching after the long drive. On the other side of the Lexus he could hear door opening and gravel crunching under light steps.

A lone figure came out of the old house, a happy smile on the old, weathered face.

"Gramma!" two small voice screamed as their owners ran as fast as their short legs allowed them to jump into their Gramma's arms.

Harm wrapped an arm around Loren's shoulders as she slipped her own across his waist, leaning her head on his shoulder. He kissed her hair and together they made their way towards the house.

Unbidden, his mind wandered off to that Christmas 6 years ago when he had first brought Loren here to help her recover from a nasty end to a relationship and start afresh.

Yes, the Rabb family farm really was the place for new beginnings.

THE END

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